I am struggling with accepting others these days. Instead, I want to change them. I want to “edit” them until they fit my idea of who they should be, because their rough edges or irritating mannerisms and habits bother me. If only So-and-so wouldn’t do that… or would understand that what I want is… I do realize I am being completely selfish when I act like this, too, and I don’t like it but seem to be stuck in a rut.

I know real life is messy. People are messy, fallible, imperfect,and unpredictable. I certainly don’t like to do what others instruct! If it doesn’t suit me, or just to prove my independence, I usually want to do the opposite of what they say. What makes me think that any of the folks in my life would be any different?

One of Jesus’ traits that made him stand out from those around him was that he accepted people exactly the way they were. Jesus liked sinners (I am very glad about that!), and he got in trouble from the ‘authorities’ for eating and socializing with them. Now Jesus is the person after whom I’m supposed to model my life. So why is it so difficult to accept people the way they are — to just let them be their messy, unpredictable selves? Why do I find it so challenging?

Maybe it’s related to my propensity for ‘magic’ thinking. Magic thinking for me means imagining that a bowl of ice cream or bar of dark chocolate won’t show up on the scale eventually, especially since I seem to be allergic to exercise at the same time. I’m heavier than I want to be because I tend to ignore simple arithmatic about calories in and calories out. I want what I want, thanks — celery sticks don’t give me the same comfort as ice cream… I’m a smart girl. I know I have to burn more calories than I take in if I hope to fit back into size 14s sometime before Christmas. But I still yearn for that magic wand!

With my friends, colleagues, and family, I think I want that magic wand to do its work on them, too. Make this one less gloomy, that one less needy, him more realistic, her less self-centered, and me thinner. Funny that the word “disciple” comes from the same root as “discipline.” Discipline is an activity, exercise (!), or regimen that improves a skill. It’s hard to improve a skill without using it, so I guess I’d best unpack that load of gifts I received in Baptism and Confirmation and put them into use in a few more arenas of my life.

That’s our Christian mission: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you.” (Matt 28: 19-20a)

Lord, please help me to remember that nothing will happen to me today that You and I together cannot handle. “And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matt 28: 20b)